In love, he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will......
Ephesians 1:5

Sunday, October 16, 2011

God is in this, even if we don't know how yet

This post is way overdue, but I just haven't been ready to write it.  And although I am still not really ready, I am able to do it.  We took our trip to China and it did NOT go as planned.  We have prayed and lots of others have prayed, and so I know this was all part of God's plan, but the events that happened in China were something we NEVER envisioned and never even imagined would happen.  In fact it never even entered my mind that it could be a possibility.  We went to get a baby, and found out that a lot of what we were told was lies, and things were not at all what they seemed.  We felt God telling us that this was very wrong and that we had been led down a path that we were not prepared to go down, under such false direction.  We spent some SERIOUS time in prayer, and God gave us obvious signs leading us in the direction we had to go in.  Nothing about it was easy, and even though time is helping, coming home without the baby we had been praying for and about was devastating.  I feel like I have lost a child on many levels, and mourn that loss very seriously.  But I HAVE to remain confident that this was somehow part of God's plan for our family.  We can't possibly understand why things happen on this earth, but we have to trust that God knows what is best and we don't.  I never once felt He wasn't leading us and wasn't with us, and His peace that passes understanding was and is with us through this.  Matthew and I are thankful that we have each other to be with through this time, and know that together with God, we will be able get through it and He will be there on the other side.  I am thankful for good family and good friends that have been helpful, prayerful, supportive, and understanding.  Some days are harder than others, and today is one of those days that I question everything.  So please continue to be praying for us.  We may seem fine, and in many ways we are, and will be, but such a painful experience doesn't go away over night.  We are blessed!  God is in this, and His will be done!

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Almost there....

Well, we leave for China Wednesday morning bright and early and arrive on Thursday afternoon!!!  We have two days in Beijing and then we get our precious little man!!!  I have many emotions right now!!!!  I am thrilled, scared, nervous, tired, excited, worried, and on and on and on!!!!  I am trying to get packed so that the couple of days before we leave can be focused on Gabrielle and Noah!!  I know that it is God's will for our family to get Asher, and that he was meant to be in our family!!  Knowing that God put our family together before we even knew each other is an awesome feeling!!  I pray that I will still be focused on this during the hard adjustment that is coming our way!!!!!  Please pray that all goes well in China and that his bonding and ours happens sooner than later!!  Also please pray that we sleep and stay healthy!  I plan to write and post pictures while we are there, but there has been some talk that China has shut down fb and blogspot.  Soooo, we will see!!!  Maybe the next time I write, I will be holding my little Asher!!!

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Petty stuff...

I am a terrible writer.  I always have been.  But I hope that doesn't keep people from seeing my heart through this blog.  I write this because I have become completely convinced that God LOVES adoption!!  He has been in this process every step of the way, and has provided us with EVERYTHING we need to bring our baby home.  Love, support, information, finances, faith, name it, He has graciously provided it for us!!!  I have to admit that I sometimes feel my faith wavering, but that is just when He provides exactly what I need to bring me back to my senses and trust Him!!!  I have been hesitant in the past to promote adoption on this blog mainly because I don't want people to feel that I am preaching at them.  I'm not!!  But I DO want to be a voice for those children in this world that don't have one!!!  Right now there are roughly 147 MILLION orphans worldwide, and they have no one to call momma or daddy, no one to tuck them in at night, read them stories, play hide and seek, make s'mores, take them to the pool, take them to the park, brush their hair and teeth, bathe them, feed them, hug them, tell them they are loved and tell them about the love of Jesus Christ and what He has done for them and the plan HE has for their lives...I think you get the point.  Yes there will be struggles that comes with adopting, but I pray that EVERYONE will consider the JOY that could come to your family because of it too!! :)  I can't go on in my life without advocating for these precious SOULS that God has placed on this earth who need us.   I'm not trying to make people feel bad for not adopting.  It's definitely NOT for everyone.  But I'm sure there are people who have it on their hearts right now and are ignoring it...because that's what I did for a while!  If you have ever thought about adopting and are one of those people who think a lot about orphan children in the world, I'm just asking you to pray about it and ask God why he has placed that on your heart.  It may be that He is could use you to financially sponsor children, or become a foster parent or who knows what.  Maybe He just wants you to pray for people like me who need all the prayers I can get!! :)  Anyway....

So instead of my focus being on advocating for orphans, it has been on petty stuff like who doesn't like me, what I "have" to do at church, complaining about all the little issues going on in my life, the cold weather, etc, etc, and blah blah really, I'm sorry if you feel I am preaching at you.  I'm not.  I'm just asking you to pray about if it "could" be something your family might be open to doing.  And please, please, please check out this blog of a woman I admire greatly who has giving me the courage to trust in God through this process  She and her family are amazing and I am so glad there are 7 less orphans in the world because of them!!! 
"He predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will"  Ephesians 1:5.....SOOOOO thankful God adopted me and I am now HIS own child!!!!  :)   I can't imagine God smiling more than if all his children had a loving family!!

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

My Aching Heart

I am starting to become impatient.  For someone as impatient as I am, I think through this process I have been surprisingly patient!  But that is quickly coming to an end!!  I am getting really apprehensive about everything.  Will he bond?  Will I bond?  Will Matthew bond?  Will he cry for days on end or will he shut down and be emotionless?  What will his grieving process look like?  Will he be healthy and happy?  I want to get to him so I can stop thinking about all these things.  But in the midst of it all, I am reminded by God that HE will take care of it all!!  I know this because even with all my fears and insecurities, I already want to do this again!!  When I look on our adoption agency website and I see all those little boys waiting for a family, my heart aches.  I want them.  I want them to have a family and know the love Jesus has brought to my life!  Oh travel approval, come quickly!!!

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Some much needed bonding....

                                          Noah telling a story and really having fun with it!
                                          Gabrielle eating her smore with Daddy!
                              Noah being proud of himself for his scary story telling abilities!
                                                      Daddy getting into his story!
                                               Serious story listener!
                                             Serious story listener #2!
                                                 Gabrielle being silly with mommy!!

This evening was awesome!!!  Although Noah had to leave church this afternoon after throwing up, he slept for a looooong time and woke up feeling great!  We grilled out, watched a pretty lame movie, but then we made a fire in the fire pit and had smores and told stories!!  This is one of my favorite things to do with my family!!  Noah LOVES telling stories, and Gabrielle's pure joy of listening to his stories never grows old!!  I pray that when Asher gets here he will like love these times as much as we do!!  Noah called him his "little cutie pie" tonight!!  They are finally starting to get excited and understand that he is coming!!  Can't wait!!

Saturday, May 21, 2011


This bad week turned out to be the BEST week ever because today we got an update on Asher!  The last pictures and information we had on him was when he was 13 months old.  He is now 20 months old and they finally gave us some new information!!  He has been in foster care for 9 months, which is totally shocking to me!!  We had NO idea!!  And they already did the surgery on his palate that we were expecting to do when he got home!!  We are thrilled that now we know he was with a family during that time, and that he is with a family now who we pray is giving him love and attention!!!  That could make a world of difference for him once he comes home!!  And the best part...the pictures!!  I have stared at them aaaaaalllll afternoon!!  He has grown soooo much and while I'm sad that I am missing it, I AM glad that he is growing and looks well cared for!!!  Boy God is sooooo good!  He is ALL OVER THIS!!!  Thank you God!!!!  Continue your prayers for travel SOON!!!

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Waiting for some news!!!

If adoption doesn't teach you some patience I am completely convinced that NOTHING can do it!!!!  Waiting for this document and that document and this approval and that approval!!!  It's insane!  Right now we are waiting to hear when we can travel, exactly, and we are waiting for an update on Asher and to hopefully learn whether he got our package or not.  Please pray for those things!!  But most importantly please continue to pray that he will bond with us quickly and that he will KNOW we are his parents and feel loved!!!  That is want I yearn for the most!!!  My heart is partially in China and that is NOT a good feeling!!!  :)  Thank you all for the prayers!!

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Is this for real?

It's been soooo long since I've written a post that I'm sure no one is reading my blog any more!  I quit because continuing to write that we still had no news was starting to be hard for me!  But voila, we have news!  We have a baby boy, 19 months old waiting for us in Henan China!  We have named him Asher Solomon and we get to travel in 10-14 weeks!  I am going to assume that since we have received conformation that he is definitely our baby, that I can FINALLY post a picture of him!!!  We are so excited and so anxious!  It is still hard for me to believe this is actually going to happen, and it is such a surreal feeling for me at this point.  But I would like to say that I feel a total peace that God is in this!  He has been part of this process from the beginning and has worked in so many ways through it!! I have had a REALLY bad day today!  Just the normal over scheduling, over stressing day, but at the end of it I am remembering what is REALLY important.  Those who are precious to me need to see Jesus in my life! What am I going to do to show Him to them?  I pray every day that ALL my children, but especially Asher, will see that God truly does have a plan for our lives.  Going to China to get him, was part of my plan.  I am completely confident that God planned us to be his parents all along, and I am SOOOOOOOOOO thankful that we have this opportunity!  What will his plan be?  I CAN NOT wait to find out!!!!  And here he is..............drum roll.....well since I am such a computer idiot his picture is at the top!!!  Isn't he the cutest little guy?!!!  Pray for his little heart to trust us quickly!!! 

Friday, March 4, 2011

Christians can't adopt?

I haven't posted for quite a while but got a VERY disturbing email from Focus on the Family that I just HAD to vent about!!!  The article said that a Christian family in the United Kingdom who had fostered around 17 children and had previously adopted were being banned from any further adoptions BECAUSE they were Christians and held the belief that same sex relationships was not what God intended and that they would be raising their children to believe in one man and one woman for life.   This completely floored me!!!!!!  First of all because how could you deny a child a home and a family PERIOD!!!!  There will be one less child touched by that family and their desire to serve God and raise happy, healthy, and LOVED children! 
Second, it scares me that once again it is Christians and Christians only who are being discriminated against in our society today!!!!  We are no longer worthy of raising a child because we choose to follow the Bible and God's word?  What if the same was done to a Muslim family because of one of their beliefs!  I have a lot of trouble imagining it would even occur!  And it made me realize that it is time Christians!!!  It is time for us to stand up and be courageous about what we believe!  It is time that we start fighting against the media and our society for trying to paint us as bigots and unloving people!  God calls us to love everyone, and that we will be known by our love.  I believe we are.  Christians all over the world are showing love by being present in starving countries, feeding the poor, helping the weak, rebuilding broken cities and adopting many of the world's children without parents!  We are there for each other with open arms when we fail to do what is right, but also hold each other accountable for the wrongs we have done.  And countless other ways Christians are lights in this world.  We truly can love the person but not the sin!  Don't we do that for each other every day?!  But that doesn't mean we have to compromise our beliefs of how God calls us to live! 
We are being tested people!  Are we willing to stand against this and show the world that we will choose Jesus, NO MATTER THE COST?  HE DID THAT FOR US!  He chose us no matter the cost to Him!  Isn't it the LEAST we can do?!
Romans 1:16
If you look at history, all nations that turned from God, and God alone, were at some point destroyed!  Do we really want to let someone other than God dictate what is best for our country and more importantly, our children?  I am proud to belong to God and to be HIS child!  I don't want my life in the hands of ANYONE else!

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

I've been busy!

I have been very busy making bags of all kinds to sell as a fund raiser for our adoption!  I have posted pictures of several kinds of bags available.  I can do custom bags, and bags of just about any color scheme.  Three of the bags on here are already sold!  If you like one that sold, I can most likely duplicate it for you!  All of them are TOTALLY hand made by me and fully lined.  Some are little girl bags and others are more diaper bag style and some purse style.   I must warn you I am not a professional, but it is for a wonderful cause, bringing our baby home.  Remember, any help you give us gets us that much closer to being able to bring our baby home!!  They are not priced on here, but I would like $30.00 dollars for the smaller ones, and $50.00 for the larger ones.  If you are interested you can email me at  Shipping will be around $4.00 and for locals, I will hand deliver them to you!  Thanks for looking, and please continue praying for us!!!


Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Hope in the Lord...

Today this verse has been on my mind.  Isaiah 40:31  But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint.
When you think about this verse physically, it is truly hard to imagine!  Can you imagine being able to soar on wings like eagles and run and never grow weary?!!!  I have tried lots of running in my life, and EVERY time, I'd say I get more than weary!!:)  This life is very limiting!  We can't do all the things we'd love to do because our strength, be it spiritual, emotional, or physical, is limited!  But the complete and awesome beauty of this is that IF we hope in the Lord, He will renew our strength!  I believe that does apply to us here on earth.  If we put our hope in God, we can overcome so much!  But in the end when we meet our maker and He tells us well done my good and faithful servant....we will be soaring like an Eagle and we will truly be like Him!!!!!  Hard to imagine, but I sooooo want to experience it!!!   To see His face and be with Him and hug Him in all His glory...doesn't get ANY better than that!!!

Friday, January 14, 2011


Did you know that it has been a year since the earthquake in Haiti? I have been really heavy at heart about this because it is such a corrupt government that they have not allowed a lot of the aid that was given to be distributed to the people! Can you imagine? But of course what bothers me the most is that there are sooo many children whose needs are not being met! And I don't mean they are not getting their oreos for dessert kind of needs, I mean they are being dropped off at orphanages by their parents who love them, but cannot care for them anymore and need the assistance of orphanages to give their children food!!!! There are children living on the street who haven't had meals in days and this is happening just below Mexico!!! It's not that far from us at all!!! It really hit home to me because I have been thinking about what if that earthquake had happened here?!!! And those were MY children that I couldn't feed!!! And there was no one to take them and love them and care for them!!!! And I had to drop them off at some orphanage to keep them alive!!!!!! Needless to say, I have been looking in to what I can do to help this situation! I want to go get about 5 of them and bring them home, but in reality, the government is still taking up to 18 months to process their adoptions even with all those homeless children everywhere! And while we are prayerfully considering it anyway, I want to think of some things I can do NOW to help those children!!! First, we all need to be praying diligently for those children and their families! I have thought about taking a trip there, but wonder if the money I would spend on that trip, couldn't be used better by sending it straight to the people! But then there's the conflict of the government NOT giving the people the funds that have been sent there. There are many different charities that are helping a lot there in different ways, so please pray that I will find the one that I can help with the most!!! Is God calling us to get a baby from China and Haiti? Or has He put this on my heart for some other reason? Please pray for clarity of what He wants me to do!!! I have to do something, and I may have to start small. But everyone who knows me knows how hard it is for me to see those babies on tv and not want to go get them...but in the BEST interest of the children...I will be praying!!!

Monday, January 10, 2011

There's not much happening on the outside, but a lot on the inside!!

I have had this overwhelming sense of peace in the past couple of weeks! I don't know if all that praying from everyone is the main reason, or if it is my decision to trust that God knows what He's doing and actually believe it! We haven't heard any news yet, but I am doing great knowing that it is in God's hands! The kids have been talking a lot about our baby and what they are going to do to care for it when it comes! It is such sweet music to know that they are starting to grasp that there will be a baby! And the funny thing is, they have really never been anxious about the WHEN it would get here! The only problem I have now is the thought that when I get this baby, it may make me want to get more of them!!! It's hard for me to imagine leaving an orphanage with so many babies in it, and not doing more!!!! We are SOOOOO blessed with soooo many blessings and love in our family, that I just know we could do more!!! But one step at a time, right....
Every good and perfect gift is from above. James 1:17

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Matthew's Christmas sermon

I was thinking about what Matthew preached last Sunday about Christmas not being this sweet, quiet, peaceful night like everyone always imagines it. While I believe there was and is peace in knowing that Jesus was born that night to save us, I also believe that it is true that there is a spiritual battle going on in this world and that when Jesus was born, Satan was angry and is still angry and fighting for our souls to be eternally lost. But because He was born and died, we don't have to be afraid of that battle that is going on right this minute. We can choose to give our lives to Jesus and let Him lead us, because He will do SUCH a better job than we ever could!
What does this have to do with our baby you may ask? Well, I believe that Satan is fighting for our children always! We as parents have the BIGGEST responsibility to acknowledge this and accept that every decision we make may affect our children's eternity! How are we teaching them to spend their time? Are we teaching them to be respectful, compassionate, generous, accepting, forgiving adults? Are we helping them live daily for Jesus and showing them the importance of time talking to God and studying His will for us? I often feel like a failure in sooo many ways, especially when I hear my kids repeat things that they have obviously heard me say and I think, wow, I taught them that!!! We are blessed that we serve a God that is forgiving, and I know He loves me in spite of myself! But I can't help but think that I have an AWESOME responsibility to this baby in China to show him/her the love of Jesus and keep him/her away from the evil that is pulling so hard for our children in this world! And then I feel sooo unworthy to be the one who gets to try to be a good parent to that baby! So I pray that God will be my CONSTANT guide and will lead Matthew and myself EVERY day to make the right decisions for this precious gift that we are waiting for! And that if that baby is alive somewhere right now, that God is ALREADY molding her heart to love and serve Him!