My Aching Heart

I am starting to become impatient.  For someone as impatient as I am, I think through this process I have been surprisingly patient!  But that is quickly coming to an end!!  I am getting really apprehensive about everything.  Will he bond?  Will I bond?  Will Matthew bond?  Will he cry for days on end or will he shut down and be emotionless?  What will his grieving process look like?  Will he be healthy and happy?  I want to get to him so I can stop thinking about all these things.  But in the midst of it all, I am reminded by God that HE will take care of it all!!  I know this because even with all my fears and insecurities, I already want to do this again!!  When I look on our adoption agency website and I see all those little boys waiting for a family, my heart aches.  I want them.  I want them to have a family and know the love Jesus has brought to my life!  Oh travel approval, come quickly!!!